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not so hot

hotlips-pizza

Looks pretty good for something headed to the oven, eh?  Unfortunately, this is how the Hotlips Pizza vegan “foccacia” (I prefer focaccia) showed up, expecting to be eaten as is. You’ll have to imagine the undercooked crust (dough) underneath the vegetables.

Tom called to order and had two questions. Easy questions. What comes on it? And are there nuts in the pesto? We’ve got a short answer for you regarding the pesto: The cilantro pesto is nut-free. For the “what’s on it” question, Tom got a long, drawn-out answer that started with “whatever’s fresh,” involved “the squash isn’t looking so good,” and turned into a possibly very stoned pizza associate turning the tables and asking Tom what he wanted on it. Hunger mounting, we ordered for delivery, not really caring what was on it, as long as it was nut-free.

Maybe 20 minutes later we got a call. Yay! They’re here. Nope. The computer ate our order and they had to start over. Then more like 10 minutes later they were here, pizza in tow. I don’t need to tell you it takes longer than that to cook bread and vegetables. (Check the photo again if you need convincing.)

Lemonade out of lemons: After 10 more minutes in a hot, hot oven it was pretty tasty.

And this has nothing to do with food, but I spent 10 hours making this and since it lives in my bathroom pretty much nobody will ever see it so here:

shower-curtain

It’s a shower curtain! This is really only four different fabrics, but they’re all reversible and they all had borders because they’re sari fabrics (all polyester and nylon). You can’t see the classy gold lace trim here, but believe me, it’s way classy. It’s another “Sweatshop Michele” moment, because while I can be super stoked that I got all this half-off fabric and made something this lush for less than $50 (and have a ton of leftover fabric), I failed to pay myself for 10 hours of back-wrecking labor.

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6 thoughts on “not so hot

  1. i’ve eaten a shitload of those (the focaccia, not the curtains), and the quality all depends on who is making it. They advertise it as 13 inches (huh-huh), but i’ve had ones that were as small as 12, and i once had one that filled their 18″ box. The 18″ one was probably the best ever. The toppings have never been the same. They even put corn on it once. wtf? corn? The individual slices at the hawthorne location are usually stellar, but the pearl location’s slices BLOW. But the opposite seems to apply when it comes to pies. i don’t get it.

    i’ve recently eaten two vegan soy cheese pizzas from it’s a beautiful pizza. http://www.beautifulpizza.com/bmenu.htm
    and they were pretty good. undercooked, as seems to be the norm with vegan pizzas from non-vegan places. The first time i had the Dianna Ross (their spelling, not mine), and the second time i had the same but substituted jalapenos for the green peppers. They were both better on the second day re-heat. their bread sticks are huge, and you won’t need more than one. The hippies who work there are always smiling.

  2. Now that I think of it, our focaccia was friggin’ huge. They probably felt bad for our order being eaten by the computer. Beautiful Pizza should deliver to us–for some reason I thought they had cashew cheese (somebody does around here). For someone who hates to type, nicely done.

    And mother dear, the ribbon footrest will never be again–and some random Brooklynite probably has it–the big, scary ribbon/trim/button warehouse closed down because they couldn’t afford SoHo anymore.

  3. Pingback: cilantro pesto pizza « Vegtastic Voyage

    • Thanks. No reason you can’t make one for yourself–the patterns made it really easy to cut & sew straight lines. It’s really just a matter of time–Tom and I spent 20 minutes just rearranging panels to make sure we had sufficient randomness.

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